at work we have a bartender named tyler and he collects wine corks so we put them in a little box for him and another bartender makes fun of him cause his t’s look like l’s so she wrote “lyler’s corks” and i saw it this morning and i grabbed a marker and changed the ‘c’ to a ‘g’
and after he left a bartender came up to me and said “aww lyler left his gorks” and i lost it
truly astonishing how much easier and more comfortable life gets when you accept that not everything is about you
sometimes things make me uncomfortable or don’t make sense to me but not because they’re immoral or intended to cause me harm, just because i’m not a consideration that was factored into the decisions that led to them. sometimes i make people feel confused and discomforted just by doing my thing. and sometimes that’s okay. i can think critically and determine when something is exclusionary and harmful and when it’s just a case of personal differences and preferences.
killing myself in a tesla and just leaving it on autopilot so my corpse is in there jostling around while it crashes into things
It would almost be funnier if the AI was like in sci-fi and was functional enough to drive like a menacing asshole without actually hitting anything and periodically recharge itself.
Local shitty driver buys a Tesla
Programs the AI with his schedule
AI learns from his aggressive driving habits
One Friday Rush Hour he road rages so hard he has a heart attack and dies at the wheel
Car drives home unknowing
Next monday it leaves for work like nothing happened
Someone eventually notices but dead guy has been in the car for a few days so no one really wants to be the guy to take him out
Every day at precisely 7:55 AM the car leaves the garage, drives itself to this dude’s office, and drives home 8 hours later still parading his decomposing body around the city while it swerves, cuts people off, honks, zooms through yellow lights, and stops just short of innocent pedestrians while honking rudely
Eventually the company gives his assigned parking spot to someone else so the car just starts parking somewhere else or roaming the city aimlessly. This is the only thing anyone actually does about it.
This goes on for months until there is nothing but a skeleton in moldering clothes haunting the freeways as it mindlessly commutes to and from work every monday thru friday
Legends spread of the Ghost Rider of I-45. Some genius superglues a Starbucks cup to the roof of the car so people are more likely to approach it while it’s parked.
The anti-theft devices prevent anyone from removing the skeleton. Muskrat refuses to remotely disable them because he’s an asshole and thinks his car continuing to commute months after its owner’s death is a great publicity stunt.
The Ghost Rider’s reign of terror finally ends after 2 years when the car’s degraded tires blow out at 85 mph, causing it to swerve into the front of a semi and carry the restless spirit of the nameless office worker to Valhalla in a pyre of toxic lithium battery smoke
But the legend lives on
They say that every evening M-F around 6:30 PM, if you watch closely beside the off-ramp of Exit 76A, you can see the afterimage of a red sedan fly past at well over the speed limit, the ghostly skeletal figure of its passenger, too much of a dick for heaven but not cool enough for hell, still raising its bony middle finger at other motorists. Leaving no trace of its existence except a faint smell of burning batteries and plastic.
In the 1960s sci-fi writers were already like “what if your self driving car locked you inside and you couldn’t get out of if there’s a problem. Would that be Fucked Up Or What. Don’t create the torment nexus” and then Elon Musk was like “look at my exciting new self driving car that you can’t get out of if there’s a problem. I call it the Torment Nexus”
Absolutely not a new observation but i love that the toki pona word for animal, “soweli,” is written like this
fuck man that sure is
i showed this post to my boyfriend last time i saw it (because hes a linguistics nerd in general and a toki pona nerd in specific) and i am delighted to inform everyone that all the words for various types of animals are little fuckin dudes
LIghthouse keepers will never be memorialized like soldiers or cops because they didn’t kill anyone (as part of their job) but they’re like, heroes who saved untold lives through discipline and self-sacrifice doing an impossible lonely job and I’m worked up about it
Clinging to a swaying tower in freezing, driving rain, risking death by everything from pneumonia to a fall to a fucking lightning strike to keep the lantern going when you don’t even KNOW if someone is out on the water!! Working! Class! Heroes!
Love very much the sentiment of this post and also love the specific wording of “didn’t kill anyone (as part of their job)” because what lighthouse keepers did off hours is their own business
good news! your stomach is super dumb! it can’t tell who chewed your food, and if you shove three cups of Qdoba salsa down your throat all your guts are going to see is a boatload of potassium and vitamin A/C!
also this isn’t even some lifehack to trick your brain this is literally how food works, diet/ED and clean-eating culture has fucked us all up and made us believe that fruits and veggies only count if they’re pure, unadulterated & bland, and that by having them with “”“unhealthy”“” things like cheese and salt and bread (or even by blending them together to make them tasty) you’re negating every positive health effect they have - this is bullshit!!! salsa and guac are fruit and veg, and having well-seasoned extremely nutrition-filled veggie-bombs alongside other necessary parts of our diet like dairy fats and carbohydrates is how food is Supposed To Work!!!
No game does ghosts right. Phasmaphobia almost does it right, but it turns into your typical cliche 3d model past a certain point, the abstract nature of ghouls and ghosts disappears once you figure out what ur lookin at! I wanna, I wanna make a game with ghosts where they fucking look you dead in the eyes, where it fucks with you and turns off your computer when ur not looking, for years after u close the game, haunted PC.
